* D!nG@_P@|AcE *

2006-02-24T05:02:00.000-08:00

hi!! i'm back..

being busy with schoolwork and stuff so cant fork out the time to go online and update..

hope everyone that is reading this will be happy like mi =D

might just disappear from now on.. maybe it will be a long tim ewhen we next meet.. =)

-treasure life-
=)

2005-12-26T19:37:00.000-08:00

i'm back!! haha... =P

this is the last week of the holiday le.. but i still haven finish my english homework!!! hiaz.. maybe staying at home this week to finish it and prepare my mind for the starting of school and for the challenge of 'o' level.. i'm scared!!

jj have gf le.. is the girl he like since sec 3.. i think.. um... i not sad actually,but instead i am happy for him.. maybe it is because i get over it but thinking a lot even before i noe the news that he got a gf from jorelle.. now.. i just want to focus on my studies. cause it decide where i will be in future.

saw this drama from vv drama ch 55. the last breakthrough. it's nice!!!
like that show. it's about doctors,nurses,saving life,helping those in needs. being memerise by the doctor.. as in not the person acting but the character in the show. haha.. he is v.mature,have good personailty,highly educated. haha.. i always have a sense of unknown feeling towards doctors and high respect for nurses,because they are the one that can save a person's life when something happen. but the will to live in the person is also very impt,because that will decide whether you can make it through anot. =)

anyway.. christmas is yesterday. err.. went to parkway in the morning to exchange present and eat with fl,sock,val,mr goh and his wife. the present that i exchange is a t-shirt,doraemon de.. quite big size. hehe.. =p den at around 7 met my mum,went to orchard,which is damn crowded and hot. heard them sing christmas song,mostly is christian song which i am not interested in. haha.. den take a few photo and went back home... and i slept.. haha

today got super funkie and the last breakthrough. i want to watch!!! super funkie last episode. they say it is v.touching. and the last breakthorugh is getting more and more exciting. as i want to see how nurse kang and doctor wangfu fen[the doctor that i like v.v.v.much!!!] get together. how doctor qi woo qingqing. =D and dun forget.. how they save ppl's life.. thats the highlight of the show. =)

2005-12-14T23:45:00.000-08:00

I know it is impossible,but why am i stil clinging on. is because i cant bear to let go...

I dun hope for anything. i just hope that you will treat me as ur friend/sister and not a stranger.
i may be a passer-by in your life,but you are a chapter in my life. memories of you stay forever and will never fade.

i understand how hard it is to like someone,i can sense that you towards her is not just 'like' so simple,but 'love'.
u will made an effort to see her as often as possible,mi too.. but i know u wont give mi the chance. everytime we met,is by coincidence and not by man-made decision. but i still feel satisfied cuz by the very least chance i still get to see u.

i will not take for granted what attitude u treat me. i will just treasure it each time as though that is my last time that i will see u again. i will...

posted:3.58pm

2005-12-14T02:19:00.000-08:00

finish helpin my bit bit to bath!!! =) =) [i noe it's childish la.. =P]

today went down to buy eng newspaper,but in e end didnt bought cuz no more... or maybe is i went too early... e scenery downstairs is v.beautiful.. peaceful and dun have alot[oops.. should be 'a lot'] of ppl.. i like this kind of place,esp if i am alone.. it is so peaceful and nice. =D

ya.. my rabbit.. hehe.. =) erm.. bath for dunno how long,den put in e washing machine to spin dry..[my heart ache.. =(] then after that my mum go hung her to the pole use to hang clothes by her lovely ear,then put e thing to clip her ear and left it outside. v.high u noe... i so scared she will fall down to the first floor. when i sa2w her ear being clip,i close my eyes.. if not later see le heart ache. hehe.. =P
hmmm.. then the wind blow,v.nice,then she saw a cat lying down on the bench at the first floor.[this is her first time that she saw a cat.=)] haha.. den at 5.15pm i took her down.. =P

ok.. i noe it is childish la... but she meant a lot to mi... i rather lost anything except my family and friends for e sake/exchange for her. she is my first birthday present by my mummy when i was at the age of 5. now i'm 15... 10yrs already le.. long right... got sentimental values. she accompany mi through rain and thunder.. ahhaha... =P i noe i use wrong words,i dunno what is e actual one =P... errr.. that's all for today!! =)

stay happy!!! =)

posted:18.35

2005-12-12T19:12:00.000-08:00

ncoc as photographer =)

hmmm. went back on e 11 dec to take photo and video of e ncoc camp. we saw they were doing some sort of transporting of casualty and case study. it is about the building have explosion and they were the first aider so they need to save all the ppl out and bring to the first aid post. well... they made it till the last min. when they left with 10sec to nother explosion,and they manage to bring the last casualty back to the first aid post. when i saw,i was like 'whoa!!' =P

then they had lunch and team building. so we film it from the top for quite a few station,and i can tell they are having fun. then mdm snatch e flag,and they were like shouting their group cheer to get the flag back. it is so fun lo.

then is the best part of the day. the -CAMPFIRE- . hmmm. saw the groups performance follow by the instructors performance. it is so fun,to see them perform. sometimes they ask the guest to join the fun. and got once i will remember. when doing the boogey dance,they invite the guest to join. so jorelle they all pull us in. and then.. that jorelle actually wanted to pull mi to jj.. [luckily she didnt,if not i will kill her.. =P] ya.. haha.. den the fun ended with the last song. it is so fun la..

hmmm... there is one more thing i dunno how to describe.. when i saw him,i have this strange feeling. which i cant explained in words. =) it is like shy,but not v.shy. wish to see him,but at the same time hope he doesnt see mi. will kept looking at him to see where he is,but at the same time doesnt want him to see this. hmmm.. just what kind of feeling is this??? strange....[that's all i can say..]

posted at : 11.25am

2005-12-07T22:39:00.000-08:00

- HOSPITAL DUTY DAY 4 -

today is my hospital duty day no.4.. sad leh,going finish on friday le. gonna miss e patients there. esp uncle. haha. cuz he is e one that mi,chaimin,jiashan talk to everyday..
today got one patient he get to transfer. then mi,chaimin,jannet almost cry. but mi and jannet got cry,cuz... maybe we too emo liao..

haix.. going to miss that ward so much. we learn alot frm e nurses there. they are so friendly and helpful..

=) miss them...

Hospital duty day 1 =)

2005-12-04T23:08:00.000-08:00

today is my hospital duty day 1... hmmm.. quite fun la.. cuz get to see quite alot of stuff that i dun usually see.
the sister there ask us to observe what the nurse is doing. quite interesting.

today i feed the patient,see wond care and injection.. of cuz not done by mi =P haha
today NYP yr2 student nurse is also at the ward as mi,and i happen to know this student nurse[i dunno what is her name.. haha.. =D] and she is friendly. i tag her for almost all the 5hrs spent in the ward. i observe her doing wound care.
and one quite embrassed thing is i nearly FAINT!! haha.. cuz i stand to long le. and so i squat down,and e S/N saw me and ask me to take a rest at e tea room. she is quite nice. =D

nothing to write actually. and i am super tired.. =)
so now i'm going to take a nap,so as to recharge my energy.. =)

2005-12-01T02:38:00.000-08:00

today i am feeling REAL good. dunno why too.

hmmm.. i must start planning timetable for naxt year le. since my academic is soooo lousy. thinking of droppong a.maths,cuz when doing the holiday homework i felt that i some sort of cannot cope. hmmm. disscuss with daddy,he think maybe i just lack of practices. cuz practices make perfect for maths. =)
just 3 more chinese letter writing and i am done with the chinese homework!!!! haha.. so happy. i think i am behind e time i set for myself. haix.. now i just need to do a timetable le.. and i will try to stick to it??! haha.. cuz due to my character i will not follow!! unless being forced!! hehe.. ya.. so .. i will try to force myself.. just hope i can make it.. hehe =)

tml going training,den going to take passport size photo for e hospital duty record book. need to wear full-u when taken. i going to hopital duty!!! yeah.. so happy...

recently i just start on skipping,haha.. and it is fun. cuz it helps mi to jump all e unhappy things out of my mind. =) maybe that will help mi to keep my moods happy. =D
and i want to thanks my family!!! haha,although they did nothing la,but i just feel happy when with them[hmmm.. i also dunno why..] and this feeloing is v.v.special,i didnt feel it in the past,only recently then i feel it. i mus treasure the time when with them,cuz they make my life much much more happier den before. =) thanks!! i love my family!!!

2005-11-30T03:20:00.000-08:00

today got st.john meeting..
den realise alot of things to do.. haha.. flyers,video,notice board.. blah blah..
but we got so little time,somemore still got hospital duty.. haha.. but nvm.. as long as we done to our best of ability den it will soon be finish..[i hope..=)]

haha.. ytd chat with jj online,erm.. now i just have to bury him in e bottom of my heart,and wish him all e best.. and i will still be friend!! haha.. just that i need time to let my heart heal first,ya.. it is not bleeding actually,cuz no more blood!! bleed alot time in e past few months.. so as in now,i have made up my mind to let go e kite i have holding on to. hope he find e right person to hold on to this simple yet precious kite. =)

whoa... it is such a relieve to let go of something which doesnt belong to u in e 1st place,but u are just stubborn to hold on to it and not let go. it take a long time,but if u know u can do it,u can.. it is just a matter of time.. [does it sound like some lecture on 'love'???]
nvm!! haha.. hmmm... now e heart is only concentraing on studies and it will be sealed. hmm.. wonder when it wil open door again.. hmm..
maybe it will only open e door to my husband.. show luo zhi xiang!! n sugianto!!! [am i thinking too much??] =P

just now chat with daddy,he say i am MATURE!! in a way in dealing relationship issue.. haha.. so happy.. but i think it still not mature enough... =)

edited by: wed 30/11/05 7.39pm

2005-11-26T05:44:00.000-08:00

it's so beautiful right??? hope to walk this path one day with e one i like.. =)

2005-11-25T16:17:00.000-08:00

sooooo happi!!!!

i'm so happy today.. as i FINALLY get to c jj!! oops.. i shouldn't say e name out.. =P
today is nco course n although i'm not involved,but i go there to take pictures.. haha
den he is there as group instructor,yea.. so.. haha..
JORELLE!!! i envy u,u noe.. u are inside his group.. so good!! haha
but nvm,i get to c him.. =D

at first,when he saw mi,he pretend he didnt c mi[or maybe he does didnt c mi]
so i also pretend i didnt c him.. haha.. but actually i do...
when he went out for lunch,i saw he looking at my direction when he pass by[maybe not looking at mi?? hmmm....] haha.. u noe!! my heart skip a beat.. haha
during opening ceremony,he was opening e door for e VIP to come inside,so i was standing on e other door[e one near to e trs' staircase] haha.. den i saw him.. so tall!!! haha..
aft lecture,he n other GI help to keep e banner,den to my shock,he v.VIOLENT.. haha.. he's a guy anyway.. den he put his things on e chair,he was just two ppl size away frm mi.. n i was quite nervous so i quickly left e room.. =D

edmund.. since when i dont how to open door!! u eyes got stamps isit?? haha.. maybe stamps of *ahem ahem* haha..
mdm.. i didnt take pic of *ahem ahem* cuz i dun dare!! cm got ask mi take when he doing uni-check.. but too far.. even zoom,always cant c... haha..!!!! but i will try...!!! =P

2005-11-24T20:29:00.000-08:00

i'm bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

really... i am bored!!!! i got nth to do at home...

i'm bored till even my heart is fragile now.. haiz.. so a little bit of voice rising will cuz mi to feel like crying.. haiz..

just hope that there is smth for mi to do.. y do e rest seem like they got alot of thingss to do?? n i dont.. now even a v.v.v.small little thing can make mi happy too.. lke just now,i saw a cat outside my hse!!! n i was v.happy.. i dunno y.. i felt that at lest got some1 to accompany mi.. haiz.. now then i noe.. i'm lonely.. hmmm...

went to msn a lot of times to c if there is anyone online for mi to talk to.. but no... there's no body.. everyone seem so bz to come online..

so i shall end here with a heart that has been feel with lonely n has sink down ...

2005-11-22T23:31:00.000-08:00

regards to yest 'SNOW CITY!!!!'

okok.. dun get excited.. here it's goes..

we rech snow city around 2 smth[if i didnt rem wrong =P] den we go for experiment lessons,den finally get into e snow area... everyone wore gloves n jackets,but still it is cold inside!!!! haha.. den we went up e slope to slide,e two person there.... i havent get my revenge..
first time was nth wrong,2ns time they begin to throw snow at e ppl silding down... haha.. den they all nva throw back,only us... so e 3rd or 4th time,we as in sock,nadia,fl,cm,mi were throwing snow at e 2 person there n they also throw back,so we stayed there for quite a long time cuz of throwning e snow,den e person couln't stand n push us down.. that's when e accident happen..
cm was pull out of e tyre,n was sliding down without it,fl nearly falled n rolled down e slope... den mi n kai en nearly fall also.. den i qickly let go of kaien legs to let her get back her balance..
aft that,we went out,then saw on cm's back there is a wound,it torn of e external skin.. but no bleeding.. yea.. haha,.. den aft that we went back to sch..

hohoho.. i heard gossip bout fl n eric.. haha.. hahahahha..
den in e bus... haha.. eh,but i want to clarify,i dun like eric ok.. i like sugi.. hahhaa!!!!
so next time dun shouted in e bus... haiyo,no image le,u.. haha..
den dunno who,rem eric no. hahha.. den it is v.fun la.. i dunno hw to write in words..
but flower[min hua]... e pic he really looked like a cute cute girl le.. haha.. if u dun say i also cannot recongise is a 'he' ... haha..

okok.. hmmm... yest last day of sch... haiz.. when sch reopen need to prepare for 'o' le...
so let's move towards e common goal!!! =) =)

2005-11-22T23:19:00.000-08:00

regards to sunday 'BCLS'

hmm.. reach HQ arnd 7.30-7.45.. wait till like 8 smth den we went into e lecture rm 4...
yunsi mdm n nurlina mdm go through e cpr steps with us. 'infant chocking,infant cpr'
'concious chocking,unconcious chocking' '2-man cpr,1-man cpr'

den we begion at arnd 12 amth[v.anxious =x]
den ended around 3.10pm ..

ok now is e process..
we need to finish 6 module,but i finish 5,so if fail one fail all BCLS.. so i failed..
kana lecture by e sir there of e cpr steps in front of e whole course.. haha..but it's ok.. nvm.. not v.malu also.. haha..
den when everyone was left with only 1 LAST module,1-man cpr... e CI ask everyone to stop,n get out of e class,cuz we eat into e pm-session.. den he also dun give us another chance to try,at least each person one last chance,he also dun wan. and ask us to leave... so everyone left,face all v.black n unhappy.

haix.. but it is all over le.. it's ok.. i can undertsand e sir feelings too.. they were rushing to chop chop finish all e BCLS,so everyone gets to finish early,n can go home.. but nvm,at least i learnt something...

2005-11-22T11:11:00.000-08:00

regard to sat 'CAMPUS SUPERSTAR!!!'

hoho.. reach there arnd 1030 to support min hua.. den is e arrival of junyang n sugi... den everyone reation was fast like dunno what.. all took out e phone at once... [that's s'porean reaction when there is things for free.. =P] den around 11-12,deerick n kelly arrive,wah!! everyone shouted.. but all of us neglected e person standing on e stage.. opps,sorry..=P everyone mind was back to e stage when e judge pull us back... haha
arnd 12-1,val n mi counldn't stand e heat plus e hunger inside our lovely stomach,so we went out to eat at foodcourt,wah!! when reach there,there was loads of ppl,den we have no place to sit,but in e end we still managed to find one..
went back around 3 smth to c if it is minhua turn to go on stage,but it is like around 3.45-4 smth den it is minhua[he Q at arnd 6 in e morn!!!].. haha.. but nvm.. den when he sang everyone was absorbed into his singing,till e judge 'ding ding' haha.. den minhua immediately rush down e stage without hearing e result,den everyone was asking him to go back to e stage den he realise he havent hear e result,n e result is 'he's in!!!' whoa.. congrats!!!
den eric[ahem ahem!!] was next.. den he say smth every funny without realising it.. haha...
'i come from secondary sch de secondary sch.' haha..
den jeff say ' hi,i come frm mediacorp de mediacorp'
den everyone was laughing like.... hahah.. ok la.. btw he sing quite well,also quite cute[ahem..haha.. someone is jealous..]
ya..den aft that we went to take neoprint.. haha.. took 2..

2005-11-18T19:54:00.000-08:00

phew! finish changing my blogskin le.. wah.. so happy =)
e skin is cute n nice right.. [of cuz!!!] haha.. =P n i love purple!!!

erm.. cm!! i didnt noe u actually read my blog!! so touched!!! haha.. yea.. maybe i should open[open?? dun have dirtythoughts..k..=P]
hmmm,maybe i keepin too much to myself,haha.. yea,i noe e mars n earth is play play de,n i enjoyed that actually,but not e pencil poking parts[fanglin,next time dun poke mi,if not u will bleed again due to my violence.. =)]
yea,thanks for all of u,who stand by mi[although u all didnt do much.. haha.. but it's fine]
esp my 7 sis,u all are e best!!! =)
hmmm..'o' level will come in a flash,so let's work together towards e common goal ok? we must help one another,motivates each others,dun give up hope,if can,those who are christain,it is best if u can e enthu spirit of christianity into studies too.

well,thats all i wanna say to my sis,hmm yea,i rem.. cm!! next time plz sing louder hoh!! frens for 6yrs liao,still didnt hear u sing b4.. haha.. ok??
btw,today we went to kaien to look n sing jj lin songs.. haha..
e song[hmm.. what is e name??] nvm,e ww2 one.. is so touching,i almost cried,cm too..
yea.. thats all for todays..

ps: sis!! let's work together!!sis 4ever n ever!!! motivates each others!!

2005-11-14T16:05:00.000-08:00

haiz.. this few days i wasnt in good mood actually.. haha.. although u may c that i was playin with cm n fl.. [i was actually playing today!! in AVA n on e way up!!!]
hauz.. cuz i feel confused bout my personality cuz i dun feel like myself... i feel like some1 else,some1 so bad.. den i dun like it,so i'm changing lo.. today change abit,so i'm changing bit by bit,hopefully i can be a beautiful butterfly after all this process... haha... [e beautiful butterfly i meaning is e character hoh,not e looks...]

i suddenly find that i dun hve a close fren to talk to.. i seldom speak to cm bout my personal stuff,cuz.. [those that is with us all e time,can c hw we are like when we were together..like mars n earth like that.. always fighting] hehe...
so i choose to talk to myself or my rabbit..haha[silly hoh?? but no choice...] cuz i dun like to share things with those i not really close with,cuz no one has understand e me inside my heart.. cuz my door was close,cuz i dun feel there is anyone that can make mi open my door,no one,so i choose.. to keep myself inside.. haha.. [only my rabbit noe who i am,e mi inside my heart.. =) n i'm glad,cuz gt some1 understand mi.!!! =) =) =)]

hope my mood get well by tml.. if not,i will just run away frm reality.. maybe...] =(

2005-11-14T15:49:00.000-08:00

ANCO course last sat n sun was quite great,cuz i learn bout infant cpr n unconcious choking.. haha

last sun gt AFA exam,quite hard,den gt bandaging.. each person need to do 2 bandage,den i gt hand bandage n head bandage,pei pei mdm was really pulling!!!! haha,den it drop,so i need to tie it even more tighter,so sorry,joan,for using ur head.. hhehe.. but u also do once to mi,den make till my hair so messy..
but it was fun,den mdm nurlina ask whether we wanna go for next yr comp,well.. i dun feel like going!! but sec 2s is not going,den who going represent our corps,no one.. but i really dun wan to go,cm also.. cuz next yr 'o' level..
speaking of sec 2s,i really wonder if they rem wad they say when we won sliver in e comp.. i really wonder,i once think that it will soon be fulfill,but by looking at e situation now,i was totally disapointed,really disapointed...

nvm,dun talk bout unhappy stuff.. haha..
going BCLS next sun.. so scared u noe.. [mean really scared] cuz e one-man cpr got skilled reporter.. [scary hoh???..] haha.. wonder if i wil pass anot.. if didnt pass i cant gt my BCLS cert,maybe also cant pass AFA.. haiz.. now need to read e cpr procedure,MUST be familiar with it.. MUST MUST MUST!!!

2005-11-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

professor yang rockz!!! [oh my god!!! y am i speaking against my mind???] too bad la... kana force..

i like show!!! he so handsome.. haha.. this few days kindda attracted to him.. haha...

erm.. this few days i recover le.. frm e hurt.. haha.. so now.. is e happy mi... haha..
tml going tutition BBQ... sec 2s also going with us... sian.. but nvm.. at least I GET TO C E SEA!!!!!
haha... tml fl going tel mi alot of things,wonder what is it??? hmmmm... haha..

ok den,i shall talk bout my training... i nearly give up on them... they were just.. dunno about e purpose of mi asking them to do smth over n over again.. i just wanna train them to be more coordinate.. so ask them semula lots of times,den they AP... who dunno that rise up too often will hand aches... idiot also noe right.. i try b4 also.. but they just dun understand.. their standard are so.. ok.. i shall not say.. ok la.. i say la.. if not i really cannot stand it liao.. e standard is so low!!! hw to go comp,den train them harder,they complain.. do u noe that??? i give u 2 all 2mins break,u all use 4-5 mins den u all come back... dont u all have a sense of urgency??? hw to be a first aider like that,no direction of time... i realize that,is just that i didnt scold.. but u all??? still e same.. aft break e standard even lower.. not 90degrees,hands not lock,didnt bang... just what u all want mi n my nco to do den u all realize what is our purpose of doing that?? when??? till we step down???

2005-10-30T15:44:00.000-08:00

today is sunday!!! another boring day at home but also another day to stay at hme n kept my parents n bit bit company... =)

i dun believe in love again but i still hope to get a pure n innocent love... but will it be fulfill???
nobody noes..
i have met 'u' in my dreams,although it is not real but still i will wait.. wait 4 u to appear again...
maybe it's because of smth that happen dat make mi fear of love again...
it's so hard to understand,really...
once u step into e circle of love... it will be hard 4 u to come out,even if u hae come out,u will feel guilty,cuz u just hurt somebody.... whether u r purposely or not,u have hurt some1 n that is e fact..
i may appear to be fine on e outside,but who knows that actually i'm bleeding inside..
i may be smiling,maybe i was just smiling to make those who worry bout mi to feel more relaxed...
but when alone.... my heart bleed again.. even if it stop. there will still be a scar inside,which nobody n nothing can make it go away.. it stays forever till e day i gone...

u or e ppl outside may say that i'm heartless,i dun appreciate u.. but u need to know.
i dun want to make it unfair to anyone,i dun wan to u to waste ur time..
i just wanted everything to end. cuz i dun wan to feel hurt n guilty again..

i'm sorry...

2005-10-24T17:53:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!! i got back my result!!
i pass for all e subject except a.maths =(
but i'm sastified already... =) haha.. cuz mainly i got B4,which is quite good le...[to me!!]

yest my bro bought new phone,sony ericsson k750i
wa..i like e phone v.much.. i have been eyeing his phone from e second he bought it... haha..
so if one day e phone is lost,u should noe who to find =P [i'm not dat bad actually.. =)
actually e phone i wan is nokia 7610.. but i dunno if it's good anot.. nvm...
i'm not buying it nw anyway... haha.. =)

after got back e first 3 paper..
can tel chaimin is worried,cuz her face is like... [i shall not say,those who saw will noe]
den i go console her,den her tone not v.nice,but i dun blame her...
she bad mood ma.. no choice... nvm.. we r sisters!! =)
den wen she gt back e result she coudnt believe she pass eng n 2 other sub n she get promoted...
haiyo,chaimin.. must believe in urself more hoh.. dun let ur mummy[which is mi!! =P] worry.. ok?.. haha..
anyway.. when takin f&n,ms yani is quite dissapointed at my result,she say i'm capable of gettin
A2 for F&N but in e end,i gt B4 [but actually it's v.good le...]
ya...

i need to buck up le.. mi,jungyi,clar,xiaowei,chaimin planning to go study at national library aft e prep wrkshop... to revise...
but go there must talk softly.... haha.. i'll will try to talk softly ..hopefully i can =)

2005-10-22T15:54:00.000-07:00

back to post again...

going get back e results on monday.. haiz... wonder if can pass n get promoted anot..
there is an air of kana 'retained/promote to NA' spreading in our class n my gp of 3e3 sisters...
every1 is scare including mi....

but if get back results n e result is bad,i will have no one to blame except mi myself..
i just didnt put in enuf effort... i deserves e result... i will bear e consequences..

i'm lack of determination.. dat's all i can when i was doing all those paper..
i gave up easily when met wif diff Q.. n i too,nearly gave up on my whole corps of st.john...
they are just.. haiz.. i dunno hw to say..

i felt i cant bond e whole corps together,they are scattered everywhere...
their feeling ,their interest,their respect,their enthusiacism...
all flying around...
my ncos will noe hw i feel cuz all thanks 2 joan for helpin mi to tel them... thanks..yea..
now i will work harder for e sake of e whole corps n my fav cca.. but i wish my ncos n my determination will help mi in survivng as OC...

now wad i can do is to work hard in building my determinaion.. plz pray dat i can sucess.. haha..

n my beloved sis... i shall not mention who..those who noe pls 'shhhhh'.. [thnx]
he is not worth it la.. not worth 4 u liking him.. when i heard bout e news i was kinda shock.
how can he do that to u? he tis type of guy need to get a taste himself hw isit like to get two-time by e 1 he like... sooner or later he will get it... surely... n all i can say he deserves it..
bottomline: he is a bad guy, xia san lan...

2005-10-19T19:18:00.000-07:00

here to update again..=)

finally exam finish!! haha... can relax... but need to stay home n rot... sianz..

finally.. my god-bro,jj.. reply mi in msn.. but his presonal sound so... ok..i shall not say.. those who add him in msn will c it.. ya,den i sort of help him to sort e confused feelin inside him.. haha..

erm... actually not much happen la.. ah,ya.. today went to seoul graden wif jung yi,kaien they all... sitted there for more den 2hrs i think..den kept talkin crap.. n i kept on steeping on shao hong's tail.. haha.. sry ar.. kai'en.. haha... den after we were damn full,we left..den went to toilet.. den purposely stay inside toilet long long till fl cannot tahan.. haha.. den she v.funny.. i shall not describe.. haha... den we went home.. ya.. haha.. till now still v.full... hehe =P eat too much le..too greedy..

i noe wad my decision is le.. all thanks to kaien.. thank you kaien for helpin mi yest.. if u gt prob also must tel mi,i will help.. ok? haha.. stop here le..continue another time... =D

2005-10-07T18:49:00.000-07:00

phew!!!

finally one wk of exam pass,nw left with only 1 mre week to go...jia you!!
begin studyin thrugh out this 1 wk,didnt even have time to use com n come to update. haha..
today e eng p2 v.hard plus e passage sooo long,wah e setter think too highly on us,think we can read so fast..haha

haiz,is the 7 of us going be apart soon?

i really doesnt want that to happen,i really cherish this 1yr+ friendship..we blend into each other life so fast,n we get along v.fast too..but i hope it doesnt end as fast as it start.
wad we can do now is to patch it bit by bit,hopefully by end of yr we can go back to normal,maybe even closer den last time,but if u all doesnt want,no matter hw hard we try also no use,no use at all. we will just like trying on a wall n it rebouce back wad we gave n nth else,it doesnt react to it,it doesnt take it,nth at all....

2005-09-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

today is a terrible day for mi.
lost my wallet. hai,who call mi dun keep properly,den now misplaced le,who to blamed but myself. thot today will be a good day for mi,cuz in e morn still feelin ok,but who noes,when goin home den tis sort of thing happen. sianz. dun like tis kind of things,wonder y they need to steal,just put themselves in our shoes la...if we stole their wallet,will they like it? no right,den dun steal ppl wallet la.

now feel so...dunno hw to put to wrds...just feel like wanna give up on things,anythings even everythings. cuz y i must cling on to it when it make mi feel so uncomfortable... just like struggling... like struggle just to make things perfect,when ppl is givin attitude,though they didnt notice n i didnt say,bt that doesnt mean i am feelin ok with e way their attitude is.. is just.. i dun wan spoilt e relation between us.... so i prefer to be silent.

now.. haiz, i dun even noe if i got e mood to face tomorrow life... just hope that i gt.. n hope i dun gt too pissed.. cuz if a person is feelin down,hw much can u expect her to be nice to everyone n everything...

2005-09-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

today weather is hot..not only hot is v.hot..haha..

in e morn gt crime prevention course,bt quite fun...maybe to mi only...haha...den c e sec 2s hand in their nco application form..just hope that tis time they will succeed in e nco course..n hope they dun back out...cuz i hope that our corps st.john will survive n i want to c my future nco takin over..
although e process may be hard n tough but thrugh our bvssjab spirit i believe they can make it..n i hope they really can..

haiz..e sky may seem blue n nice to others bu to mi,it seem to be darken abit...
i hope to accept but i scared i cant give u any promise n thus it will hurt u...n i doesnt wan it to happen..cuz i noe that not affect u but affect both of us..cuz it is a 2-way thing...
if there are other better choice outside n it suit u den go 4 it cuz i really dun wan to hurt u..

2005-08-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

here to update before prof yang strangle mi durin tut.

tis few day ish v.v.bz...but anyway we gt into e final..but damn sianz,still need to put make up,wear nice nice..sianz lo..den in ava somemore..so paisey..

i havent seen him for 5 days liao..haha...but wad to do..ppl havin 'o' level this yr so cannot disturb him,bt 'm sure i wil disturb him aft his 'o'..haha..
today v.early go home,den was lookin forward to use com,to c if he is online,bt in e end,i nva touch com till now..haha..so dunno if he gt online anot..
ya...i dunno if i shld give him up,cuz i now dun feel like likin anione,but everytime i c him,my heart will miss one beat.so till now,i still dunno if shld give up..haix...

yest was a v.v.damn pissed off day,cuz of e st.john cade..e sec 2s...they think they wad,princess ar..nid to beg them to run,talk to then nice nice den listen...wah..plz lo..u think my nco is here to serve u ar..cannot take it den leave..mi n my nco gave their 100%,den wad u gave us? shit...lousy behaviour,AP,black face..den we scold,u cry..u think wad,cryin den mi n my nco will console u ar..u wait lo0ng long lo..tis will nva happen...in BV st.john...cuz we are not in e wrong..u are..
fine..cant take it,den walk away!!..y bother to stay in e squard whwen ur heart is not even there..if u stay any longer,u will spoilt our reputation...dats all...i admit we are samll in quantity but we cant lose in quailty...right...
so if u cant take it nxt time,den dun come..waste my breathe talkin to u all den e rest stayin outside suffer..do TOC..wah...den wen ask u go fall in,u all take ur time,debn nid chai min kept on askin u all run...talk to u all nicely..den u take for granted..den ltr scold black face..so wad...den scold again..CRY!! so??!!....den dun ans..isit so hard to open ur golden mouth...just ans la..wont die st.away right?....den in e end..made all nco unhappy,sum even cry...wah..den in e end nva end properly..no last parade..u think wad..fashion parade or a lax cca..if u dun like just QUIT!! we wont stop u anymore..not ANYMORE...

it is gettin tired for mi n my nco to plan for u all,wad we planned u all say say 'sianz' 'childish' den ask u give suggestion u all kept quiet..en everyhing dun wan..dun wan this dun wan that...u think plannin so easy to do ar..u try it next time la...do it urself..den u will noe hard it is..

2005-08-01T16:18:00.000-07:00

today durin pe encounter one gal hyperventilation cum heart medical history...so i attend to her first as i pass by her wen runnin 2.4km...

at first she cant breathe properly as her breathin is irregular n she is gaspin v.hard 4 air..so i let her sit up to breath properly...den it still e same,so i thot of askin her lie down..den who know,she lie down mre difficult to breath,den she close her eyes,den suddenly she is not breathin den i kana shock den i shake her den she regain abit conciousness n start to breath irregularly again...den mrs tiu came...den she attend to her bout 4 5-10 min..den wen i pass by her den she ask mi to hlp her massage...den her hand was like v.stiff..ltr mr ong came n he asked ppl go take stretcher n my sir,mr teo,brought it...den mr ong wanna put e gal on stretcher wen it is not fully stable yet,i mean e stretcher..den i take it frm him n wanted to open it..den he is like v.stubborn like dat,dun let mi take...but in e end i still manage to take frm him n open it..den ambulance came...n e story end....n we went back to class..n kana mr yong black face..

but who to blame..we 1st aider cant expect us to leave her unattended rite...den in e end i realize smth..my 1st aid skill is not up to standard yet...so...i stil to practice on it more....

n i found out...in life anything can just happen,so wen u r alive now jut live it to e fullest n dun waste anytime...dun eva say wait later i free den i do,wait later i grow up i want to do tis do tat...DUN EVA waste ur time on WAITING AGAIN ANYMORE!!

2005-07-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

tis fews days dunno y i feel v.weird. even mi myself oso cannot figure out wad kind of feelin is tis...hais... i really hate tis kind of feeling as it make mi v.moody n make mi tink alot...i seriously dun like it..it's like a v.big burden on my shoulder...i just hope to take it away...

i wanted to find some1 to talk to but i dunno wan find who..evrybody arnd mi like all change..even e surroundin even feelin....but wad tings wont change..everything changes as time goes by... but still..i...hais.. isit everybody dat change or isit mi who is changin? isit my thinkin dat is changin or isit my mind,my feelin is e one that is changin...no one noes..no one will eva noes...no one...

nobody will care hw i feel,nobody will care..nobody..cuz everything is changin so fast dat i cant adapt to it....i cant..anymore..

i beginnin to slow down my pace,i beginnin to try to accept e things arnd mi,but it's too late..just too late...n it beyond my reach..

DaYs At InNOtReK!!

2005-06-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

just come back frm sec 3 camp at innotrek,bukit timah.

wah the camp damn fun lo,all e trainer there so enthu n sporty and best of all they are not shy at all so they mixed around v.well wif all of us.. they teaches us songs all dat and best of all is i get to try out Abs/Zips,CRC n kayakin...Yeah!! finally gt to touch e blade..hehe...^_^...

e 1st days was damn sian as we all dunno each other well so we all just stick to our own fren..but later in e day we noe each other better cuz we have team buildin n problem solvin games so it is a good chance to know each other..n we become mre n mre ethnu..hehe..=P

on e 2nd day we have Zips/Abs n CRC...n nature walk..e walk was fun n we r e 1st grp to reach summit..haha...=D...den is e Abs/Zips all dat..e Abs n Zips was really fun...although i was damn scared but still i made it in e end..*clap*..haha..bhb...haha..den is e CRC,e instructors is Qian Yi n Stephaine...Qian Yi kept shoutin at us to walk fast,i tink is due to e sun la,cuz it is damn hot there ...den stephaine she was v.good,she is patient enuf to wait 4 us..haha..den in e end she own self nva play Zips..haha..=P

den is e 3rd days...is e kayakin day 4 grp 9-16...den we go low ropes 1st..den at low ropes,we were makin allot of noise,laughin,shoutin all dat,n i tink Qian Yi is happy too,cuz she cant stand silent[she sae it herself]..den is kayakin..its its is damn fun lo...n i finally get to kayak..yeah!! but e tide suddenly became high so we have to go back,den iskandah give us his so called 'shower of blessin'...den we go rock climbin..i climb all e straight ones,den e hardest i dun wan to try,den mrs tiu n ms ang oso try...haha..den i b e ankle man..haha..den mrs ang cld not climb up e 2nd 1 cuz she is v.tired...c tell u liao dun eat so much durin holiday..haha..den is camp fire...it is damn fun,our grp imitates iskandah n Qian Yi...den we sing IskanDah fav song 'texas star' den he so touched den he cry[dunno real anot]..haha..den as 4 qian yi we sing her de sunshine song...haha3

finally is e last day,we all pack up n left innotrek,e beautiful place where is just right beside e nature..cant bear to leave dat place..haix..but even e good tings also have to come to an end...no matter wad...so just carry e memories wif u in ur heart n carry on livin....

2005-06-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

i finally noe wad i want..i just wan to b fren wif u!! haha..=p...maybe even good fren..bt i felt dat our friendship is gettin harder n harder to build,dat wad i think..maybe u dun think dat way ba..who knows?

yest just watch 'ghost train',its not scary aft watchin,its just sound effect,bt i dunno y i will grab sum1..haha..gt one scene i still rem..is showin a train n e female lead is standin beside it,den e whole cinema was silent,den all of a sudden,e train horn,den e whole cinema was like kana shocked by e sound,den i was jumped abit wen i heard,den wai ying oso..haha..=D

abt dat matter,i was thinkin abt it over e fews days den it make my mood so bad,so low,so down..stupid matter...bt lucikly,i finally find a way out,n dats wad i written at e top..haha...

goin sec3 camp soooooooooon,so sianz le dat camp,nw dat i think of it,i rather go to my st.john den tis camp..haha..

2005-06-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

here i am!!! back 4 mre post!!

just got back tis afternoon frm overnight feedin of mosquito at ECP..haiz,wan to watch sun rise but e stupid tree block my view...bt nvm,i gt to c e sea..haha..n c e sky change frm dark to light...haha..tel u one ting,nxt time goin stay overnight betta dun choose a place where there alot of ppl,cuz u SURE cant slp... i tried,so dun repeat my mistakes...haha...

2005-06-09T13:11:00.000-07:00

here to update on my lastest blog again!!

this few days is borin bt my mood still maintain e day wen i have BHN n e day wen u came,though we nva talk much bt can c u already v.happy..=D
tis few day i was thinkin weather i shld give up on u anot..so my frenz if c tis plz give mi ur opinion cuz i nid dem!! thanks...

bt i was v.happy tis few days too although v.sianz n its damn hot e wheather...haha...i read a chi love storybk n felt it was quite well written,although it seem to b unrealistic..haha..bt i still hope it will happen..haha..

write till here le,gt nth to write..haha..so tag mi n give mi opinion on my blog,n if is my fren n u noe wad i'm talkin abt previously,den give mi ur opinion...

2005-05-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

yo...here 2 update liao..cuz dat PROF YANG kept askin mi to update...haha..

so here i'm....

mid-yr goin finish in 3 days time,den everything will be back to normal,bt u tink my mind could b back to time wen we first met...haiz..dun wish to talk bout it liao....talk bout something happy..

i saw mr goh future wife n nephew yest...arthur so cute n talkative..haha...den still gt e otha one bt i dun rem e name...hahaha..=p....his wife is so out-goin...n cute..we even eat together at pizza hut..den arthur kept talkin n talkin...haha....den we all have a big laugh at pizzahut too...haha...

2005-04-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

here i am..2 update my blog ^_^

mid-yr cumin liao..really v.scared,scared i will flung in my subject....haha,actually i still hope 2 go back 2 NA stream...mre relax n mre frens!!! haha,bt 2 bad 2 late liao...no choice bt 2 accept e fact...

e colors of my wrld is cumin back again..haha,so happy...gt once it is actually black n white,although is my fav color but still nt nice 4 my typical gemini world...really hope my wrld cld b colorful...best is if it gt sea,dolphin cats n rabbits,surroundin mi... dat's my dream..haha...best is live wif my parents n e 1 i loved..n my bit bit...haha...

is lurve relly dat impt 2 mi??? really wan 2 find out e ans 2 tis quest. but i kant cuz no1 kan tel mi....haha...=p

2005-04-11T03:45:00.000-07:00

long time nva cum update liao...haha..so nw here i am!!!

yest go pasir ris park 2 play..finally get 2 see e sea...haha...but was attacked by e sun 2..gt lots of sunburn..v.painful...=(...but gt 2 play..

mid-yr cumin liao..v.scared...cnfm fail my e & a maths....haha..muz buck up liao..if nt surely cannot make it 2 end-of-yr....haha....

we go compeititon and we WON 2nd position le...haha..vVv.happy...10 y...1st batch,win 2nd n best hme-nursin...haha...all thanx 2 our SNCO n officers...they train v.hard wif us..tryin 2 take leave frm wrkplace juz to teach us 1st aid n hme-nursing...haha..thnx v.much...tis trophy oso won back e trust e sec2 have on us,dey decide 2 won in nxt yr com. so v.happy 2 hear dat...

nw juz hupe *wrld-peace* n everiting will sucess...haha =P

2005-02-26T13:04:00.000-08:00

change a blog skin...izzit nice..muz comment it on my taggie... thnx

e words'i have been thinkin abt u all along' can somehow describe my thot 4 'u' nw,although i still nt sure abt my feelin 2wards u yet...not JJ sir..ppl[erm..i mean e ppl who noe]....haha but nvm..

quite a lot of tings happen yest. to my juniors..they quarrell...after settling theirs prob. i realise dat frenzship is v.brittle n can break easily...so i nw noe dat i muz treasure e frenzship i have nw...franzship is hard 2 get esecially gettin a few fren which is really ur good fren....but wen u noe a fren 4 quite a long time,u would notice theirs bad & good pnts...even though its bad pnts. but still u r his/her fren so if u really cannot tolerate wif their attitude u should sit down n talk 2 them..dat wen we will have 'PEACE'..~~~end of story~~~

2005-02-18T16:36:00.000-08:00

hey!!! here 2 update my blog...nxt week commom test le,v.scared!!! Scared i fail le....haix....nw every sat need 2 trian 4 com...so tirig,everytime go hme wan 2 slp le...coz 2 tired le...tis few days my frens around mi all gt stead...lyk abt 3 gt..so envy of them BUT wad to do wen i'm not allow 2 stead..haix nvm,i oso wan prepare 4 my mid-yr-exam,if fail a.maths will go e another class n cannot take a.maths le...arh...so scared.....

2005-01-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

Just change blogskin..i quite like it la...haha..haix..x'press life start le...no matter wad i not goin 2 drop any of e sub...co i'm strivin 2 go 2 poly with a grade so dat is mi choose e subject n not e subject choose mi...but i wonder if i can really do it anot..haha..anyway i will just try....if i nva cum update..plz excuse mi..b'coz i will busy doin tingz..especially nw 5-day week..haiz sian..cannot watch WAN YUAN YU LE..*sob* *sob*:renfu...miss u so much>>>*sob* *sob*

2004-12-28T20:20:00.000-08:00

finally i bought my books le...e books seem so little but it cst quite a lot about $100+...wen i m Q ing 2 buy my books i saw e bball ppl campin i thot they goin hme yesterday evein..wen goin hme i saw him...but wen i saw him i feel nothin!!! y??? or maybe i have no more feelin 4 him le...wah i saw almost all e bball boys all haf-naked le..den rainin somemore..wah they wont feel cold de meh???
den at evein i go buy my bags..it cost $26.00 but the bags i lyk it...hehe...although it not v.nice as other ppl 1 but i still lyk it...haha...i oso bought my file...it is melody one...v.cute de...lyk it v.much!!!

2004-12-24T23:26:00.000-08:00

yeah..he finally online le,on MSN..n he gt chat wif mi...wah feel so happy!!! :p
although he dunno who i'm but nvm...haha..i noe who he is can liao...wah he go party so late nw time is 11.10pm le..maybe he go countdown christmas lo...haha...but anyway hope he go hme soon...if not later too late den no good...hope he enjoy himself!!! haha...
just nw go out with my daughter ccm,my fren js,her daughter,xh & val...it lyk family outin den dunno y val go along 2...maybe she wanna woo my daughter den i will have 2nd daughter-in-law le...den e 1st one can dicvorce already la...rite??? [later if my 1st daughter-in-law saw,surely kill mi 1..hehe],we go watch e gong-fu hustle,wah dat movie v.violent one...gt wad use e axe 2 kill ppl,but,some parts v.funny la....i can sae today i somehow gt enjoy myself... :p

2004-12-23T21:40:00.000-08:00

haiz....feel v.sianz so decide 2 write a post...e dae after tml will b christmas n i will b going 2 johor....wah..but i dun feel a little of eexcitment le...dunno y??? but nvm...tml goin 2 celebrate christmas with my sistaz[ccm,val,js,xh]...haha..we goin exchange present le...dunno wad they bought...feel v.sianz le..after NCO course,lyk nth 2 do le....so kept tinkin of tingz....but ..haiz..still so sianz...y life tis few dae so sianz....nvm,erm let's talk abt e new disc i bought..it is Zhang Shao Han new album 'Aurora'..wah so nice...e songz..she herself oso v.pretty...i oso wanna buy Huo Jian Hua cd le 'Kai Shi Huo Jian Hua'..e "ni hao jiu hao"..v.nice...wah...haha...

2004-12-13T19:43:00.000-08:00

YEAH!!! NCO camp finish...so first cum 2 here 2 update my blog. Wow e camp so fun..it not as scary as e senior sae..it is tough but if u go along with their instruction n co-operate with ur gp mate u will find it v.fun and easy!!!i noe a lot of fren from other school...lyk JUNYUAN,AH,TK,EP,etc...wow after camp gt alot of excitement which cannot be type out...but there r ting there which i cant bear 2 leave...it is my instructor,she is v.nice 2 us,she will laugh with us, play with us,i feel safe with her presence...wow..but still dunno if gt pass anot...hope that i will pass with FLYING COLOR!!!

2004-11-29T11:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday saw Jay Chou at e army market!!! at 1st is a car stop in front of mi n my mum den a lot of ppl cum out i thot gt sick ppl but den i saw a guy wearin green color shirt,a cap,n sun glasses cum out,at 1st i dunno who is he...den by e way he walk i realize is Jay Chou...i quickily went upstairs 2 confirm den after lookin it is really Jay...wow..."so lucky"...tis is wad i'm tinkin at dat time...den wen i was walkin hme i saw lin jun jie JJ..he was talkin on phne...den wen he walk past mi..i realize n sae "o is JJ"..den wen he is walkin upstairs he turn back n c who is callin him n carry on walking,i tink he is meetin jay at e army marrket.....wow!!! c 2 star in a afternoon without havin 2 wait under e hot sun>>>>*_*

2004-11-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

Just change my blogskin...cute ritez!!! haha!!! *thickskin*
i can finish doing tis blogskin all thanx 2 wai ying...thanx alot...

2dae go 2 library 2 borrow books..heard frm jia shan dat chai min nw is wai ying god-sis...i'm surprised..coz she usually dun accept all dat kind of tingx...bedok gt pasar malamg[dunno hw 2 spell] n mi,chai,jia shan go 4 a short walk around..n we gt saw hat...i like hat...hope dat ppl will give mi hat 4 my b.dae...haha..i lyk ppl who wear hat..no matter if u're a guy or a lady!!! i really lyk ppl who wear hat..n if u gt c {shao nian te gong dui} e 'sun xie zhi' wear de hat i lyk oso..but my hse dun have!!..haha...i dun have hat at home...i lyk belt 2...all kind of belt...haha

2004-11-21T09:40:00.000-08:00

Todae wake up v.early...so decide 2 write a post...werid rite...wake up so early juz 2 write a post. haha..?! just put evonne song...'wo yao wei ni qing qing chang shou ge'...joan just msg 2 tell mi dat she,daphne n xiao wei nt goin 2 e BBQ organize by Ms Joyce for 2n5..i really wish 2 go but if i go there is nobody 2 accompany mi, just chai min,so sad -_- *sob**sob*

After 2 more weeks will b NCO course,feel v.scare le!! We will have our death sentence there...feel v.scare,but excited 2!!! All e senior sae dat it is not tough as last as u listen 2 e offical there...dunno true anot?! But anyway just hope dat very ting will b fine...

2004-11-19T17:11:00.000-08:00

Ha..finally finish wif my blog...doing a blog is realli tough 4 a com idiot lyk mi!!! hehe!!

yesterday was fun..e sjab bbq...shoutin at e sea,playin wif e bbq pit...n kwang hian bbq someting but e smoke seem lyk he is settin fire on sumtingx... + laughx+
mi n eunice gt carry e water till e water fall n it slpash on a skater..haha +laughx again+
Arina was there 2...n we have a lot of fun...hey e other 5 do u still remember e time wen we were bare footed n we walk by e sea n e water is v. coolin rite!!!
N e water bomb 2...i havent have my revenge yet!!!

oPeN!nG

2004-11-19T14:40:00.000-08:00

First day at dinga palace is exciting...hope dat everyone will lyk it!!! Tag n give mi ur opinion....''thanx''

* D!nG@_P@|AcE *

Hospital duty day 1 =)

DaYs At InNOtReK!!

~~oPeN!nG~~

oPeN!nG